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Bedtime With My Baby Son, Byron

Every night, my wife and I pass by our son’s room on our way to bed. As we open his door, we can hear the monsoon that is blaring from his white noise player.

Quietly, we sneak up to his cot and peep our heads over the top, as close as we can get without invading his space. His sleeping position is always a mystery. On his stomach with his arms stretched out, one arm under, sandwiched in the corner, legs popping through the cot bars, up against the wall, knees under stomach, nappy in the air or perfectly on his back with arms wide open. No matter how uncomfortable his pose, he looks at peace.

My favourite is when his head is up against the white balustrades, facing the front. It’s a prime viewing position. I can literally plant my face up against his. The fine blonde fur-like baby hair keeps me at a distance and I can feel and hear is baby breaths. Their speed tells me what type of dreams he might be having. My wife gives him a dim glow from the monitor light. His skin still so new to the world. I gaze over every tiny facial feature in a state of bliss and wonderment. What could such an inexperienced earthling be dreaming about right now?

I look up at Amy who is gleaming with the same dopey smile on her face as me. I wonder what he’d think if he were to open his eyes. Would he see our smiles for what they are, or would he think “what the hell are these creepy weirdos doing!?” For Amy and I to feel exactly the same thing as one another in the room for even sixty seconds brings us closer than ever. We are sucked into his beauty and tranquillity with complete awe. If I’m feeling bold, I’ll put my finger in the half curl of his tiny hand. He involuntarily clenches.

As I take one last look at him, I fight back the urge to wake him. Or even worse, EAT him! I quickly remind myself that I’m not a feline, and send out my wishes of happiness and good health before I leave the room. It’s the best way to kiss the day goodbye.


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15 Comments

  1. Andrew Tierney05/12/2016

    I’ve only had the experience of being an Uncle, unfortunately due to some personal issues I won’t get to see my nieces ever again, and another niece who won’t get to see at all, you’re lucky you got the chance to be a father, because I might not get that experience either

    Reply
    1. Nathan Cavaleri06/12/2016

      I’m sorry to hear Andrew. You might not, but you might. 😉

      Reply
      1. Andrew Tierney06/12/2016

        I always like to think of what can happen to me, experiencing parenthood for me would be an excellent thrill

        Reply
        1. Nathan Cavaleri07/12/2016

          Yeah man!! Generally the only reasons that we can’t do something, are only in our heads. Except for playing a gig on the sun. That definitely can’t be done. ha!

          Reply
          1. Andrew Tierney08/12/2016

            Which is when Paul McCartney formed Wings in the early 1970’s, he wanted Linda to be in the band so they would be together

  2. Malcolm Gully05/12/2016

    Yes know the feeling. Give baby the big sniff onthe head like a big flower, they all have their special smell. My eldest your age . And funniest sleeping positions one would curl up on the floor next to our bed! Or turn around under the blankets and wriggle down to the foot of the bed and scream! In panic. Just great for testing cardiac recovery. Enjoy every moment.

    Reply
    1. Nathan Cavaleri06/12/2016

      Bahahaha… Yess true. A friend of mine said nothing is more scary than waking up in the middle the night to your daughter or sons face 2 inches from yours! Cardiac recovery indeed. Yes they do have their own smell. I wonder how old he will have to get before it’s just down right creepy for me to sniff him? ha!

      Reply
  3. Roddy05/12/2016

    What a lovely story. Straight from the heart.

    Reply
    1. Nathan Cavaleri06/12/2016

      Thanks Roddy!

      Reply
  4. Dave James05/12/2016

    Nathan there is nothing more wonderful and definitely nothing more spiritually enlightening than looking at one’s own life being manifested into a new perfect life, one free of the pressures of adulthood and free to be so unconditionally loveable.

    Beautiful blog, take care.

    DaveJ

    Reply
    1. Nathan Cavaleri06/12/2016

      Hey Dave…. Well said. You’ve captured it in just one sentence. The innocence. The curiosity. I learn so much about myself by looking at him. It’s mind blowing. Glad you ‘re enjoying the blog.

      Reply
  5. Malcolm Gully07/12/2016

    I hadn’t met my 13 yr old nephew for 7 years I said “sorry there’s something I have to do” …big hug and deep sniff…yep ….”thankyou that’ll do” they know their uncle is a bit eccentric.

    Reply
    1. Nathan Cavaleri07/12/2016

      bahahahaha. Hilarious. Bet you is was a different fragrance!

      Reply
      1. Malcolm Gully07/12/2016

        I dunno yep maybe, they say take time to smell the roses, heyyears ago you would have been 7 my daughter of 2ish would leave her bed and just stand next to my bed side and stare until I felt her presence and snapped awake. At the same time I was reading the book “communion” about alien abductions and midnite visits. I loved the book genuinely creeped me out and would read it for spooky dreams. My Daughter Michelle only added to it by these consistent visits chanting ,drinkawaterrrr….. drinkawaterrrr. This was when she wasn’t reversing herself in bed and screaming. Id shoot awake imagine Aliens and get her a drink and go back to bed double freaked out. One nite I snapped awake ….no one there….thought I’d get up and check…..put my foot on the floor and slid on some spooky substance…..it was my daughter’s hair, shewas sleeping next to the bed….. I sprung back she stood up and started chanting ” drinkawaterrrr ….. drinkawaterrrr” without flinching ……Wow freakout. My youngest Katherine years later when I thought it Time to close my bedroom door as an adult told me as a kid she camped outside my bedroom door waiting for the Aliens because of a book she remembers next to my bed…….kids eh?…… drinkawaterrrr

        Reply
        1. Nathan Cavaleri10/12/2016

          Hahaha! That’s a funny story. I look forward to those moments…. They’re not far away!

          Reply

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